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Top 50 Cat Web Sites
Credit card user: member of the Debt Set
A bird in the hand is a big mistake
Today has been a long year
Where's the "ANY" key?
Committee: A group that keeps minutes and wastes hours
Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious
Conclusion: The place where you got tired of thinking
"Modem." said the gardener when he'd finished cutting the lawns
"Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar." Freud
Yield to temptation: it may not pass your way again
(A)bort. (R)etry, (F)ail. (G)rab hammer
Money is the root of all wealth
A naked man fears no pickpocket
*FLASH* Energizer bunny arrested, charged with battery
* Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do!
A "program" is used to turn data into error messages
Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?
The food here is terrible...and the portions are too small
A classic is a book that is praised but not read
Veja De: that feeling that you've never been here
To err is human. To moo is bovine
Does killing time harm eternity?
Blessed are the meek, for they make great scapegoats
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it
A good friend *keeps* the surplus zucchini! This tagline is identical to the one you're reading
A bug is a feature that didn't make it into the manual
Don't judge a book by it's movie
Dogmatism: Puppyism home to its full growth
Never agree with me; it shakes my self-confidence
To keep your milk sweet, keep it in the cow
What if there were no hypothetical situations?
With a calendar, your days are numbered
hAS ANYONE SEEN MY cAPS kEY?
A closed mouth gathers no feet
* Not now, Kato
Santa's elves are just a bunch of subordinate Clauses
People who live in stone houses shouldn't throw glasses
* The problem with the gene pool is that there's no lifeguard
A day without sunshine is like night
The thrill of Victory: the agony of Delete
When money talks, there are few interruptions
Streakers repent! Your end is in sight
The pen is mightier than the pencil
If it weren't for time, everything would happen at once
Hand. n. A singular instrument worn at the end of a human arm
Eschew obfuscation
Don't drink coffee in the morning or it'll keep you awake
A good hot dog feeds the hand that bites it
I distinctly remember forgetting that
***ERROR*** Unable to insert witty tagline
This space for rent
* Trying to establish voice contact - please yell into the keyboard
Volcano: A mountain with hiccups
Ask me about my vow of silence
You don't usually see that type of behavior in a major appliance
White dwarf seeks red giant for binary relationship
Bad spellers of the world untie
Do radioactive cats have 18 half-lives?
Friction is a drag
I can't be overdrawn...I still have checks
Guru to deli man: Make me one with everything
Dinner not ready: (A)bort (R)etry (P)izza <
Why is there a permanent press setting on my iron?
* Scotty! Hurry! Beam me...uragg^#z$@& NO CARRIER
Always be sincere, even if you don't mean it
2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2
America: log on of off
Do not believe everything you hear or anything you say
If you can't make it work, make a statistic out of it
An elephant is a mouse made to government specs
* 43.3% of statistics are meaningless
* Things are more like they used to be than they are now
An electrician worries about current events
Hindsight is an exact science
A wok is what you throw at a cockwoach
Hors d'oeuvres: ham sandwich cut into forty pieces
Abandon hope, all ye who
I'd love to, but I promised to help a friend fold a road map
If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice?
A wise man never plays leapfrog with a unicorn
Air bags: inflation we can live with
All wiyht/ Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
And, pray tell, whose imagination are YOU a figment of?
All programers want arrays
Any job worth doing is worth complaining about
A bird in the bush is better than one just overhead
I'm just trying out this tagline; it's not registered yet
Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive insane
A clear conscience is merely the result of a bad memory
I'm in shape. Round is a shape, isn't it
Time is money and many people pay their debts with it
UFO's are real. The Air Force doesn't exist
Welcome to the future. It's just starting now
It is bad luck to be superstitious
* The Earth is like a tiny grain of sand. Only heavier
Network management is like trying to herd cats
If I wanted your opinion I would have given it to you
If I wanted an opinion, I'd have asked someone with taste
If I wanted an opinion, I'd ask someone that had one worth hearing
You know a happy motorcyclist by the bugs in his teeth
A clean desk is a sign of clutter in the desk drawer
I'd love to, but I never go out on days that end in "Y"
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense
* If at first you don't succeed, you'll get lots of advice
Microbiology lab: Staph only! Sigmund's wife wore Freudian slips
* The meek shall inherit the Earth - but not its mineral rights
Help! I'm a prisoner in a tagline factory
The older I get, the better I used to be
The Hubble works fine: all that stuff IS blurry! STICK \ 'stik \ n. 1. A boomerang that doesn't work right
Warning! Do not reuse tagline
Discard safely after use
Twinkies have a half-life but Velveeta is eternal
What color is a chameleon on a mirror?
Cogito ergo spud: I think, therefore I yam
I haven't lost my mind; it must be backed up SOMEWHERE
A true diplomat struts sitting down
Penguin: the head waiter of the Antarctic
"Is that data saved?" "No, but we're praying for it"
Definition of software upgrade: Old bugs out, new bugs IN
A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs
Tuba or not tuba?
A penny saved is ridiculous
When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns
NJlleuidlkjg539....Hey! Get the cat off my keyboard
A bachelor's a guy who's footloose and fiancee free
Above all else: sky
Free the Indianapolis 500
I'd love to, but I have to floss my cat
Never say anything more productive than: "Watch this
" Philosophy: unintelligible answers to unsolvable problems
* We have met the enemy. and he's all yours
If I save the whales, where do I keep them?
Celery farmers play the stalk market
Yeah, but what's the speed of DARK?
Where there's smoke, there's toast
I think, therefore I am over-qualified
Put off procrastinating until later
Bullfrog says: "Time is fun when you're having flies
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off
It's easier to admire hard work if you don't DO it
If worst comes to worst, you *CAN* turn most things off
It's easier to admire hard work if you don't DO it
We're lost. But we're making GREAT time
Everyone is entitled to my opinion
A seminar on time travel will be held two weeks ago
Today's subliminal message is
Careful planning will never replace dumb luck
How can an atheist swear?
Draw from your fine command of the language and say nothing
* Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt
Good fortune will find you, providing you gave good directions
I doubt; therefore I might be
Let not the sands of time get into your lunch
Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address
Wagner's music is better than it sounds
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
& <:+======== Snake stalking ampersand
Who do you call to exorcise software?
A hangover is the wrath of grapes
This message will self destruct in five seconds...
Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
Pavlov's experiments proved to be dogmatic
* Does fuzzy logic tickle?
A harp is a nude piano
Hug: a roundabout was of expressing affection
Can I yell "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse?
* On a scale of 1 to 10 a 4 is about 7
Mosquito: designed by God to make flies seem better
Tact is intelligence of the heart
All generalizations are false
I'd love to, but I've been scheduled for a karma transplant
He marches to a different kettle of fish
CAUTION: Incorrigible punster! Don't incorrige
This is the day for firm decisions! Or is it?
All true wisdom can be found on T Shirts
Air pollution is a mist demeanor
Never lick a gift horse in the mouth
Multitasking causes schizophrenia..
If all the world's a stage, I want better lighting and a better script* Things are more like they are now than they ever were before
Are you sure? (N/N)
Defend the right to keep and arm bears
I'd love to, but my bathroom tile needs grouting
I'd love to, but my dress for obscurity class meets then
Behind every successful man is a woman with nothing to wear
Infinity is just time on an ego trip
A virtuoso is a musician with real high morals
Mulittask: Choke on gum and trip simultaneously
With free advice you get what you pay for
A "career" is a job that takes about 20 hours longer a week
Doing nothing makes you tired because you can't take a break
Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana
Answers: $1.00 Correct answers: $5.00 (dumb looks are still free). Chopped cabbage: Not just a good idea, it's the SLAW
FACT: Fourteen out of every ten people like chocolate
Invertebrates make no bones about it
Oxymoron: one who has used too much acne goo?
Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?
Don't marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper
Unbreakable toys are good for breaking other toys
Bad is never good till worse happens
Atheistic dyslexics don't believe in DOG
* What's another word for THESAURUS
All's well that ends
Money: a mint makes it first and we try to make it last
A fool and his money are soon partying
Diplomacy: the are of letting someone have your way
Entrophy isn't what it used to be
Honk if you love obscene gestures
I'd love to, but I have to answer all my "occupant" mail
Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
Keep your words soft and sweet in case you have to eat them
Pure drivel tends to drive away ordinary drivel
Jealousy is all the fun you think they have
The person who is all wrapped up in himself is overdressed
I'd love to, but it's my parakeet's bowling night
If you see an onion ring, answer it
Shortcut: the longest distance between two points
Why get even when your can get odd?
* A professor is someone who talks in ones sleep
Talk is cheap unless you hire a lawyer
Know thyself. If you need help call the CIA
Tact is the unsaid part of what you're thinking
When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails
Life is so uncertain; eat dessert first
The basis of optimism is ignorance* The basis of optimism is sheer terror
Are part time band leaders semi-conductors?
* Breeding rabbits is a hare-raising experience
After all is said and done, usually more is said than done
A stitch is time would have confused Einstein
1991: the year of the Palindrome
Where are we going? and why am I in this handbasket?
* Apathy error...don't bother striking any key
To er is human
Be suspicious of all native born Esperanto speakers
When all else fails read the manual
A pessimist complains about the noise when opportunity knock
Biology grows on you
All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door
#:-) <:-------- Snake stalking person
Prune: a plum that's seen better days
Earth: a solid substance much desired by the seasick
A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on
How do we set the laser printer to "stun"?
Paradox: Two members of the medical profession
Illegal: sick bird
Crosswords: what puzzled and angry people have
Cartoonist: Mechanic
Capitalist: Washington DC dweller
Hortense: Nervous prostitute
Toadstool: seat for an amphibian
Two rights don;t make a wrong...they made an airplane
Are Cheerios really donut seeds
He's as confused as a termite on a yo yo
* Just how did that fool get his money in the first place?
* A bird in the hand is the best way to eat chicken
Of all the people I've met, you're certainly one of them
Chicken Little only has to be right once
######### <---------- Scratch off to reveal your prize
Three kinds of people: those who can count and those who can't
Adams rib: the original bone of contention
Police station toilet stolen: cops have nothing to go on
* Common sense isn't
Poker face: the face that launched a thousand chips
A miser is hard to live with but makes a fine ancestor
Fame: Chiefly a matter of dying at the right moment
Coup de grace: French for lawnmower
Despite the cost of living, it remains popular
California has it's faults
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
I.R.S.: We've got what it takes to take what you've got!
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand.>
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
The secret of the universe is @*&^^^ NO CARRIER
Did anyone see my lost carrier?
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
Error, no keyboard - press F1 to continue.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now .
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I won't rise to the occaasion, but I'll slide over to it.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Assassins do it from behind.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
OOops. My brain just hit a bad sector.
I used to have a handle on life, then it broke.
Don't take life too seriously, you won't get out alive.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Few women admit their age. Few men act theirs.
We have enough youth, how about a fountain of SMART?
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?
My computer isn't that nervous...it's just a bit ANSI.
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
Gotta run, the cat's caught in the printer.
Spelling checkers at maximum! Fire!
Life would be much easier if I had the source code.
Capt'n! The spellchecker kinna take this abuse!
ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS.
Logic: The art of being wrong with confidence...
To iterate is human; to recurse, divine.
Microwave: Signal from a friendly micro...
Nostalgia: The good old days multiplied by a bad memory...
Write all complaints legibly in this space -> []
The bugs will go away when you turn off the computer!
Help: It said 'Insert disk no.3', but only two will fit
Shh! Be vewy, vewy qwiewet! I'm hunting wuntime ewwors
Optimist: A YUGO owner
I'm not paranoid! Which one of my enemies told you that?
I saw Elvis. He sat between me and Bigfoot on the UFO.
WYTYSYDG - What You Thought You Saw You Didn't Get
Thesaurus: Ancient reptile with an excellent vocabulary.
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Change is inevitable... except from a vending machine.
If at first you don't succeed, call the author
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere!
I've got a...uh...uh...Oh yeah -- a photographic memory!
"Press SPACEBAR once to quit or twice to save changes..."
Proofread carefully to see if you any words out.
The cost of feathers has risen... Now even down is up!
Fairy Tale: A horror story to prepare children
for the newspapers.
SUBJ: Another Rejected State Motto
Arizona: It's Not the Heat, It's the Stupidity
IBM isn't really that bad. In fact, they only have two problems: Their hardware and their software.
[Editor's Note: At Microsoft, it's only their software. ;-) ]
Every titanic has its iceberg.
"The trouble with our times is that the future is not what it used
to be."
%SYSTEM-W-TMNYFNGRS, too many fingers on keyboard
%SYSTEM-W-MONDYMRNG, monday morning
%SYSTEM-F-GETACLUE, user doesn't know what he's doing
[Editor's Note: You might have to be VMS compliant to really appreciate those. ]
The hen is the egg's way of making another egg
"No keyboard; press F1 to continue"
Learning French is trivial: the word for horse is cheval, and everything else follows in the same way. -- Alan J. Perlis
"Marriage is probably the main cause of divorce."
-- Frank Burns
Last night as I lay in bed looking at the stars I asked myself, "Where the h*ll is my roof?"
"If English was good enough for Jesus Christ, then it's good enough for me." -- Arkansas congressman to Joint National Committee on Language
[Editor's Note: Those Arkansas politicians are so *gosh darned* SMART.... ]
"Press button to test..." ::CLICK:: "Release to detonate."
Never trust a computer you can't lift.
-- Stan Masor
SUBJ: Realism
Blessed are those who expect nothing, for they shall not be
disappointed.
SUBJ: Deep Thoughts
Excerpted from "Confusion Says: The Collected Sayings, Musings,
Thoughts And Nonsense of a Modern, Paranoid, Schizophrenic,
Introverted Yahoo. Also Known As Gerry," by Gerry Harris
I am proud to say I am a self made man.
I just wish I had read the instructions more carefully.
If movies use sound effects to seem more real,
why doesn't reality have more sound effects?
I doubt therefore I might be.
Schizophrenia beats the heck out of being alone.
SUBJ: Mixing Cliches
Excerpted from the Mensa Bulletin
A fool and his money are a girl's best friend. SUBJ: Morality
If electricity is produced by electrons, Is morality produced by morons?
EARTH FIRST! We'll strip-mine the other planets later.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
We have enough youth--how about a fountain of SMART?
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Artificial intelligence usually beats real stupidity.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
If you are psychic--think "HONK."
SUBJ: Another Perspective
Lord, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
Courage to change the things I can, and
Wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they p*ssed me off.
<-------- The information went data way -------->
Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
Access denied---nah nah na nah nah!
C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay...
E Pluribus Modem
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
11th commandment: Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
RAM disk is NOT an installation procedure.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
ASCII stupid question, get a stupid ANSI!
Help! I'm modeming...and I can't hang up!!!
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?
Press any key...no, no, no, NOT THAT ONE!
Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
C)ead my chips: No new upgrades!
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
C)ead my chips: No new upgrades!
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
C)ead my chips: No new upgrades!
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control!
Will the information superhighway have any rest stops?
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch.
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (T)hrowup
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic
(A)bort, (R)etry, (T)ake down entire network?
(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?
If debugging is the process of removing bugs, then programming must be the process of putting them in.
Programmers don't die, they just GOSUB without RETURN.
Computer hackers do it all night long.
The name is Baud......, James Baud.
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope) again!!!
This message was generated using 100% recycled bits.
2400 baud makes you want to get out and push!
Got a seat belt for the computer chair - no more ROFL!
Best file compressor around: DEL *.* (100% compression!)
When all else fails read the manual.
But I DID read the manual...
I *did* read the docs; that's why I'm confused!
By the way, What does BTW mean?
Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
C:\WINDOWS C:\WINDOWS\GO C:\PC\CRAWL
C:\DOS C:\DOS\RUN RUN\DOS\RUN
Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
The name is Baud......, James Baud.
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah nah!
C:\ Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C? (Y/N)
A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord.
11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
The magic of Windows: Turns a Pentium into an XT, instantly.
SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
All computers wait at the same speed.
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed up and automate errors.
Press to continue ...
New mail not found. Start whine pout sequence? (Y/N)
My computer's sick. I think my modem is a carrier.
GOVERNMENT ECONOMIST VIRUS: Nothing works, but all your diagnostic software says everything is fine.
I always have fun because I'm out of my mind!!!
Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
COFFEE BREAK: The first rest of the day of your life.
I took my kid to the children's zoo...but they wouldn't take him.
Spreadsheet: first step in making the bed.
Rap music = oxymoron
Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.
It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow.
AAAAA- American Assoc. Against Acronym Abuse Anonymous
cats oftimes get frustrated trying to train their humans.
Butterflies are not insects. They are self-propelled flowers.
I'm hopelessly lost...but making good time..
"To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer."
Cats took many thousands of years to domesticate humans.
My home security system includes a team of attack CATS!
No one was ever sent to prison for dreaming.
a dream is a wish your heart makes.
By the time we have "money to burn" our fires gone out!
`A clear conscience is actually a bad memory
Every time I make my mark, someone paints the wall.
All of the really good taglines are 1 character too lon
And thou shall have dominion over all the beasts...except for cats.
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.
A short pencil is better than a shorter memory.
My best taglines are in for repair, this one is a loaner!
My life has a superb cast...Just can't figure out the plot.
Arnold Schwarzenegger Virus - Just terminates and stays.
Everyone has a photographic memory; some have no film.
Government Tagline. Takes up space, no known function.
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine."
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes."
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes."
"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon"
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot."
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep"
"I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather....
...Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...."
"The gene pool could use a little chlorine."
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a
vegetarian."
"Your kid may be an honor student but you're still an IDIOT!"
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you."
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the
IRS."
"Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips."
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?"
"If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?"
"Time is the best teacher; Unfortunately it kills all its students!"
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !"
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else."
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse."
"Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot."
"He who laughs last thinks slowest"
"Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else."
"Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math."
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy."
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps."
"We are Microsoft. Resistance Is Futile. You Will Be Assimilated."
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home."
"3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't."
"Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?"
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"
"If Clinton is the answer, it must have been
a stupid question."
(A)bort , (R)etry , (T)ake down entire network
24 hours in a day...24 beers in a case...coincidence
2400 Baud makes you want to get out and push!!
3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't
640K ought to be enough for anybody - Bill Gates 1981
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking
A trully wise man never plays leapfrog with a Unicorn !
Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist
All generalizations are false
All vacations and holidays create problems -- except for one's own
All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound
An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting
And the meek will inhibit the Earth - but not it's mineral rights
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed to be doing
Around here, progress is made on alternate Tuesdays
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools Ask yourselves, "How would Clint Eastwood handle this?" It never helps get the job done any faster, but it's very comforting to think about all those corpses
Assassins do it from behind
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying
Backup not found: (A)bort (R)etry (P)anic Bad command. Bad - bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay.
Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home
Be there or be octagonal
Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death
BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me
BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down - 4th quarter - 5 yards to go
Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster
C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine
'Congito cognito ergo cognito sum' - I think that I think therfore I think that I am
CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps
Conserve toilet paper, use both sides
Copywight 1994 Elmer Fudd. All wights wesewved
Cover me. I'm changing lanes
DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock
Disinformation is not as good as datinformation
Disk Full - Press F1 to belch
Does fuzzy logic tickle
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out
Don't look back - they might be gaining on you
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice
DOS Tip #17: Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS
E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage
Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)
Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue
Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
Ever stop to think - and forget to start again
Every morning is the dawn of a new error..
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous
" Excuse me for butting in - but I'm interrupt-driven
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again
File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
Following the rules will not get the job done
Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal
Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules
Give a man a fish and he has food for a day; teach him how to fish and you can get rid of him for an entire weekend
Give me ambiguity or give me something else
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW
Hidden DOS secret: add BUGS=OFF to your CONFIG.SYS
Hit any user to continue
How did I find myself this morning? Well, I just turned back the covers and there I was
I can see clearly now - the brain is gone..
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian
I don't have a solution but I admire the problem
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it
I get enough exercise just pushing my luck
I have nothing to declare but my genius
I hit the CTRL key but I'm still not in control
I intend to live forever ... or die trying
I live each day as though it is my last ... and one day I know I'll be right
I never say what I mean, think about all the things I never say and that's what I mean
I took an IQ test and the results were negative
I used to be indecisive but now I'm not sure
I'd explain it to you - but your brain would explode
If at first you DO succeed - try not to look astonished
If at first you don't succeed, cheat
If debugging is the process of removing bugs - then programming must be the process of putting them in
If I want your opinion - I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms
If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done
If my doctor told me I only had six minutes to live, I wouldn't brood - I'd type a little faster
If things get any worse - I'll have to ask you to stop helping me
If you aren't part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate
If you can keep your cool while everyone around you is panicking, then you probably haven't checked your e-mail recently
If you can see a light at the end of a tunnel, it's probably a train
If you can't get your work done in the first 24 hours, work nights
If you don't like the news, go out and make some
I'm feeling as fluffy and bouncy as a ten week old lemon on a piece of elastic
I'm not lazy, I'm just revitalizing my complacency
I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want? Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail
Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got
It said, 'Insert disk #3,' but only two will fit
It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you
It's lonely at the top, but you eat better
Its no good prevaricating about the bush
Keep Honking ... I'm reloading
Kind words can be short and easy to speak,but their echoes are truly endless
Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot
Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control
LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools
Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change
Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on as though nothing has happened
Montana --- At least our cows are sane
Mother said there would be days like this, but she never said there would be so many
Multi-tasking = 3 PCs and a chair with wheels
My mom was a ventriloquist and she always was throwing her voice. So for ten years I thought the dog was telling me to kill my father
My sigs fallen, and it can't get up My software never has bugs, it just develops random features
Never hit a man with Glasses, hit a man with a Baseball bat
No matter where you go, there you are No one gets sick on Wednesdays
Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check
Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes
People don't make the same mistake twice -- they make it three times, four times, or five times
People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't
"All generalizations are false.
"Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
"Time is what keeps everything from happening at once.
"Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
"Born Free. . . . .Taxed to Death
"Cover me. I'm changing lanes.
"The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
"Laugh alone and the world thinks you're an idiot.
"I get enough exercise just pushing my luck!
"Sometimes I wake up grumpy; Other times I let her sleep
"All men are Idiots, and I married their King!
"Work is for people who don't know how to fish
"Montana --- At least our cows are sane!
"I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
"It's as BAD as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
"If you don't like the news, go out and make some." (No doubt popular with Post Office employees)
"I Brake For No Apparent Reason." (That's a popular one down here in FL and can usually seen on a car in the extreme left lane traveling at 45 mph)
"When you do a good deed, get a receipt, in case heaven is like the IRS.
"Sorry, I don't date outside my species.
"No Radio - Already Stolen" (in the Heathen Northeast they say that 'BMW' stands fro Break My Window')
"Real women don't have hot flashes, they have power surges.
"I took an IQ test and the results were negative.
"Okay, who stopped the payment on my reality check?
"I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!
"Learn from your parents mistakes - use birth control!
"Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off NOW!
"Tell me to 'Stuff It' - I'm a taxidermist.
"IRS: We've got what it takes to take what you have got.
"It's lonely at the top, but you eat better.
"LOVE: two vowels, two consonants, two fools.
"According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.
"Some people are only alive because it is illegal to kill.
"Pride is what we have. Vanity is what others have.
"A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
"Forget about World Peace.....Visualize Using Your Turn Signal !
"Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
"We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
"Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
"Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
"Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
"Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
"Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder...
"There are 3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
"Auntie Em: Hate you, Hate Kansas, Taking the dog.-Dorothy.
"I'm out of bed and dressed, What more do you want?
I AM hoLDiNg YOur mail HosTage. SENd $1000 TO my Node .
I Came, I Saw, I Left
I FEEL MUCH BETTER NOW
I Had A Life Once, Now I Have A Computer I Have A Mind Like A Steel ... Uh ... Thingamajig ..
I Have To Stop Now, My Fingers Are Getting Hoarse! I Made A Mental Note, But Forgot Where I Put It ..
I agreed to suspend disbelief, not let it hang until it died
I already know I'm paranoid. The question is, am I paranoid enough
I am 86 of Borg: You will be... wait, my shoe is ringing
I am NOT a cynic - I just remember last time too well
I am NOT paranoid! And why are you watching me
I am a mental tourist, My mind wanders
I am firm. You're stubborn. He's pigheaded
I am in total control, but don't tell my cat
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